Reflection on the past two years

Yesterday was the two year anniversary of my entering the mission field. In just a few days I will be hitting my seven month mark of being home. Today during sacrament meeting I started reflecting on some of the lessons that I learned during those 18 months of service. With today being fast Sunday I wanted to focus on how I can become a better person and more like my Savior Jesus Christ. Maybe this is why I started reflecting on the mission. I mean for 18 months or 2 years they continually plead with you to be more like the Savior and miraculous things will follow. Some of those miraculous things end up being those tender mercies the Lord pours out upon you each and every day but you may not think they are too miraculous.

Just a few of the lessons
1. Families CAN and WILL be together FOREVER if we follow the Saviors plan for us.
-To be honest I don't think I really grasped on to this concept until the very last day of my mission. On the last day of the mission we had the opportunity of going to the Orlando Temple. This was the first time I was able to go since being in the MTC. I recall after we finished the endowment session and we entered the Celestial Room, I felt a sense of loneliness. My parents weren't there to greet me as they had done before when I went through the Bountiful Temple and even though I was with other missionaries I still had the longing of others being there. I sat and pondered the reason I went out on a mission. It became clear to me that all those who I had the opportunity to work with and see enter into the waters of baptism were on their way to being with their families FOREVER. I knew right then the importance of following Heavenly Father's plan so that we can be in the celestial kingdom together and not have a sense of longing for others to be there.

2. Faith preceeds the miracle or sign
-In my Doctrine and Covenants class we have been talking a lot about Martin Harris. Martin Harris was one that needed the miracle or sign before he could truly believe. I find myself like that too. Yet the Lord doesn't work that way. Each day in the field we would go out and expect miracles to happen yet all too often I would get discouraged and lose sight of my faith. It was on those days that nothing would happen. On the days that even though it was hard, I would endure with faith that things happened. We have to do our part before the Lord will do His. Even being back here I have gone through some things that try my faith but when I let my faith carry me through the Lord is always there to lift me higher and ease my burdens.

3. Sometimes the Lord allows us to be tried because He sees our FULL potential...we only see things we can't do.
-If you are anything like me you too will dwell on what you aren't good at. There were tons of days that I couldn't give my best effort because I didn't think I was good enough to be out. All too often I would let that get the best of me. I remember one time I was serving with Sister Butterfield back in Seminole. I only had 6 months left and I started to think I wasn't good enough because we couldn't find ANYONE to teach. One day I recall spending an hour in the dark bathroom just crying and feeling like there was no hope for me. I felt as though the light of Christ had gone out of me. It was an awful feeling. I would try to pray and nothing would happen. I kept wondering how the Lord could allow me to feel this way especially because I was a missionary. After awhile I came out of the bathroom and went to the bedroom. Sister Butterfield came in and tried to comfort me. She kept asking me to bear my testimony. I couldn't. I felt so dark and alone. She suggested that I get a priesthood blessing. Upon doing that I felt the love of the Lord through Brother Galloway who gave me the blessing. I remember in the blessing the Lord telling me how proud He was of what I had been accomplishing thus far. At that moment I realized that the Lord was trying me because He sees me in terms of tomorrow where I see me in terms of today. Through that experience I grew and realized that there is much I can do WITH the Lord on my side. If He isn't with me I will never reach my FULL potential.

These are just a few of the lessons that I learned and that I had the opportunity to reflect on today in church. How grateful I am that I heeded the Spirit and went on my mission. I have learned so much and grew a greater love for the gospel, the Savior and Heavenly Father, and even my family. I had the privilege of serving with some wonderful sisters who each taught me something unique. I worked with amazing people who helped me strengthen my love for the truths we have as I taught each of them. They hold a special place in my heart. The Lord knows what each of us need in our lives. President McKay always use to say, "The Lord always hears our prayers but it is usually through others that He answers them."